Japanese conversation typically follows a distinctive pattern: speakers place a brief pause after others finish talking before beginning their own response.
These pauses can last from less than a second to several seconds, and serve a profound communicative function, conveying important messages such as:
・”I am carefully listening to you.”
・”I am speaking with careful deliberation.”
・”I am responding with thoughtful consideration about what you have said.”
With these pauses, Japanese speakers demonstrate respect for their conversation partners and express their own sincerity. This practice makes Japanese communicators feel comfortable and helps build mutual trust between participants.
However, I have experienced a lot of international meetings where participants begin speaking immediately – sometimes at the precise moment others finish, without pause. In some cases, people even interrupt while others are still speaking.
By noticing the absence of pauses, I unconsciously wonder:
- Are they really listening to what I am saying?
- Are they speaking without proper consideration, simply saying whatever comes to their mind?
Then I find myself forming negative impressions, viewing such speakers as selfish individuals who are obsessed with expressing their own thoughts without careful attention to others.
Even more challenging, when participating in discussions with people who place less pause, I cannot find appropriate moments to contribute. Without natural pauses in the conversation, I find myself being a passive listener while others continue to exchange active discussions around me.
I vividly remember a meeting with colleagues from the United States, Australia, France, and Spain nearly 20 years ago. In the meeting, I could not speak even a word, and the French participant approached me with obvious frustration and asked:
“What did you come to this meeting for?”
I truly wanted to shout out, “You all kept talking without giving me a chance to speak!”
I had been politely listening, carefully processing everyone’s contributions, and formulating my own thoughts throughout the meeting. However, the absence of pauses during the conversation left me with no opportunity to voice my idea.
Unfortunately, my silence was misinterpreted by my colleagues who concluded:
- Koichi is passive, disengaged
- Koichi lacks ideas and motivation
- Koichi has nothing valuable to contribute to the team
For my international colleagues, continuous speech without pauses signals active engagement, high motivation, and strong commitment to the discussion.
In other words, pauses in conversation can be interpreted as:
- The discussion is losing momentum
- Participants are not interested in the topic
In fact, silence can make some people feel anxious and uncomfortable, creating the opposite effect of what Japanese speakers intend.
The image below illustrates these distinct communication patterns across Anglo-Saxons, Latins, and Asian cultures.
※ Source: Fons Trompenaars, “Riding the Waves of Culture”
